Prejudices at Work - Part 2

I intuitively suspect a man’s general regard for women, if he talks about specific woman(en) in a demeaning manner, to me or in my presence. It is worse when the man in question is a colleague. The worst is when the woman he makes degrading statements about, happens to be his wife – who takes care of the entire family, and may have sacrificed her own career and interests to do so. [I am more tolerant of jokes against women in general. I view them as fun extracted by majority at the expense of minority, as the gender ratio at workplace is still heavily inclined towards men].

Why do I think this kind of behavior makes the matters worse, when exhibited at workplace? Because, I would think that being highly educated, and after years of working alongside women who have similar accomplishments as themselves, these men would be able to cast aside their prejudices. However, things do not seem to have progressed much in the last decade or so, since I started working. Despite active and increasing contribution from women, the IT industry is still male-dominated, and it follows that you will have many more male colleagues than female, and will frequently encounter prejudiced individuals.

After a few times you have heard your colleague(s) making degrading statements, you start wondering what kind of regard they have for women; and specifically if they have any respect for you, on to whether they take you seriously at all. As it is, women have to work harder to prove themselves and attain any kind of success, in a male bastion, and it becomes very difficult to keep yourself motivated, when you feel that your sincere efforts are being undermined, just because of your gender.

Some people I know, do not accord much importance to the work of their wives, implying that it is undertaken just as a pastime - since the ladies are holding a teaching job, or are working part-time or freelance. Even though, many of these ladies have quit their full-time jobs to look after the family. So much for their selflessness. 

Many of them do not want their wives to work, or want them to quit, so that the family can be taken appropriate care of; at times expressing it in blatantly honest terms – so that they always have good, warm, home-cooked lavish meals (of course, without having to contribute any efforts towards the preparation).

I have friends, who, after working hard for a number of years to build up a great career, quit or took a break for some years, to spend time and enjoy with their little ones. Do you think this was what they achieved? The result was – the family figured that since they were home full-time, they had a lot of free time, and they were therefore swamped with all the chores, leaving them little time for what they took the break for.

As progressive they might believe themselves to be, quite a large percentage of the men still believe that devoting themselves to caring for house and family is the duty of women, and it is their primary responsibility. And sadly, many women are also conditioned to believe the same. Don’t get me wrong, I do not have anything against women who prefer to stay home to look after the family [though I firmly believe in the importance of financial independence], but note the emphasis on “preference” here.

The bottom-line is, if you look at it, it is hard to be appreciated either way. Go to work, and you are guilty of neglecting the family. Don’t, and there’s not much worth given to you.  Can we hope for a time, when women have the complete freedom to make their own decisions, without the burden of expectations from everyone around them? And whatever this decision is, be respected for it?


Here is : Part 1